Losing a job, especially one in the dynamic and often demanding tech world, can feel like a ship losing its rudder. It’s more than just the loss of income or a daily routine; for many, it’s a blow to their sense of self, their professional identity. When you’ve poured so much of your time, energy, and intellect into your work, it’s natural to feel a potent mix of anger, disappointment, or a deep, lingering sadness when that chapter abruptly closes. You might find yourself questioning, “What now?” or even, “Who am I without this role?” These are valid, heavy questions, and it’s a path many in our industry have walked. It’s a disorienting experience, but it also presents a rare opportunity—a chance to pause, reflect, and reconnect with the very essence of who you are, separate from any job title. This is a moment to rebuild, not from scratch, but from the solid foundation of your core values.

Many talented individuals find that their work identity and personal identity have become deeply intertwined. When that work identity is suddenly removed, it can leave a void. The anger might stem from a sense of injustice, the disappointment from unmet expectations, and the sadness from the loss of connection and purpose. Acknowledging these emotions is the first step. There’s no need to rush past them. They are a testament to how much you cared and invested. But dwelling in them indefinitely isn’t the way forward. Instead, this period can be a powerful catalyst for rediscovering what truly drives you, what principles you want to guide your next chapter. This is where the journey of rebuilding your identity begins, not by looking outward for the next role immediately, but by looking inward, to your core values.

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” - Peter Drucker

This sentiment, often echoed in the halls of innovation, applies just as much to our personal lives as it does to technology. You are now at a juncture where you can consciously create the next phase of your professional life, anchored by a clearer understanding of what truly matters to you.

Actionable Steps: Unearthing Your Guiding Principles

The path to rebuilding your identity often starts with a clear understanding of your foundational beliefs. Here’s how you can begin to identify your core values:

• Reflect on Peak Experiences: Think about moments in your life, both professional and personal, where you felt most alive, proud, or fulfilled.
• Identify Key Qualities in Others: Consider the people you admire most. What qualities do they embody that resonate with you?
• Pinpoint Your Deal-Breakers: What are the things you absolutely cannot tolerate in a work environment or a role? These often point to violated values.
• Brainstorm a List of Values: Generate a broad list of potential values without censoring yourself.
• Prioritize and Define Your Top Values: Narrow down your list to the 3-5 values that are most essential to you, and write down what each one means to you in practical terms.

Details / How-To: A Deep Dive into Value Identification

Let’s break down each of these steps to provide a clearer roadmap. This isn’t a race; it’s an exploration. Give yourself the time and space this process deserves.

1. Reflect on Peak Experiences:

• How-To: Set aside some quiet time. Grab a notebook or open a new document. Think back to specific instances where you felt a profound sense of satisfaction, engagement, or joy.
  • Prompt questions:
    • What were you doing?
    • Who were you with?
    • What skills were you using?
    • What made the experience so meaningful?
    • What impact did you have?
• Example: Perhaps a time you successfully mentored a junior colleague, launched a complex project against the odds, or solved a particularly challenging technical problem. What underlying values were at play? (e.g., Contribution, Achievement, Problem-Solving, Leadership, Collaboration).
• Insight: These peak moments often highlight when your actions were in perfect alignment with your deeply held beliefs. The positive emotions are a signal.

2. Identify Key Qualities in Others:

• How-To: List 3-5 people you deeply respect. They can be colleagues, historical figures, authors, community leaders, or even fictional characters. For each person, write down the specific traits or actions that you admire.
  • Prompt questions:
    • Is it their integrity, their creativity, their resilience, their compassion, their intellectual rigor?
• Example: You might admire a former manager for their unwavering fairness (Value: Justice/Fairness), a thought leader for their innovative thinking (Value: Innovation), or a friend for their loyalty (Value: Loyalty/Connection).
• Insight: The qualities we admire in others often reflect the values we aspire to or already hold, even if unconsciously.

3. Pinpoint Your Deal-Breakers:

• How-To: Reflect on past experiences, particularly jobs or situations that left you feeling frustrated, demotivated, or unhappy. What specifically about those situations was intolerable?
  • Prompt questions:
    • Was it a lack of autonomy? A culture of blame? Unethical practices? Lack of work-life balance?
• Example: If you felt stifled by constant micromanagement, “Autonomy” or “Trust” might be a core value. If a company’s misleading marketing made you uncomfortable, “Integrity” or “Honesty” is likely important to you.
• Insight: Our negative reactions can be powerful indicators of our values. When a core value is trodden upon, we feel it deeply.

4. Brainstorm a List of Values:

• How-To: Start writing down any word that comes to mind that represents a value. Don’t filter or judge at this stage. Aim for a long list. You can find comprehensive lists of values online to spark ideas (a quick search for “list of core values” will yield many resources).
• Examples: Accountability, Achievement, Adventure, Authenticity, Balance, Challenge, Collaboration, Community, Competence, Contribution, Creativity, Curiosity, Diversity, Empathy, Excellence, Fairness, Family, Freedom, Growth, Honesty, Impact, Independence, Influence, Innovation, Integrity, Justice, Kindness, Knowledge, Leadership, Learning, Loyalty, Meaning, Openness, Optimism, Passion, Peace, Perseverance, Power, Recognition, Respect, Responsibility, Security, Service, Spirituality, Stability, Teamwork, Trust, Truth, Wealth, Wisdom.
• Insight: This stage is about breadth. You’re casting a wide net before you start to narrow things down.

5. Prioritize and Define Your Top Values:

• How-To: From your brainstormed list, start grouping similar values. Then, begin the process of selecting the ones that are truly core to you. Aim for no more than 3-5. This can be challenging. Ask yourself:
  • “Which of these values are so fundamental that, without them, my life would feel incomplete or inauthentic?”
  • “Which values do I want to be known for?”
  • “Which values will I use to make important decisions?” Once you have your shortlist, write a personal definition for each. What does “Integrity” (for example) mean to you in your daily life and work? How would you know if you were living by it?
• Example:
  • Value: Growth
  • Personal Definition: “Continuously learning and developing new skills and perspectives, both personally and professionally. Seeking out challenges that stretch me and embracing feedback as an opportunity to improve. Ensuring my work allows for ongoing learning and mastery.”
• Insight: This final step brings clarity and makes your values actionable. Generic value words are less powerful than values that are deeply personalized and understood.

Callout Box: Living Your Values

Identifying your values is a profound first step. The next, equally important step, is to consciously integrate them into your life and your job search.

• In Your Job Search: How can your core values guide the type of roles, companies, and cultures you seek? If “Collaboration” is a core value, you’ll want to ask questions in interviews that reveal a company’s approach to teamwork. If “Impact” is key, look for roles where you can clearly see the effect of your work.
• In Your Daily Life: Even while unemployed, how can you live by these values? If “Learning” is a value, perhaps now is the time to take that online course. If “Community” is important, volunteer or connect with local groups.

This alignment is a powerful antidote to the feeling of being adrift.

It’s a journey of introspection, and it’s okay if it takes time. These feelings of anger, disappointment, and sadness are signals—they tell you that something important has been disrupted. By channeling that energy into understanding your core values, you’re not just coping; you’re building a more resilient and authentic foundation for whatever comes next. This isn’t about finding a new job title to define you; it’s about rediscovering the timeless principles that have always been a part of you. They are your internal compass, ready to guide you through this transition and towards a future that resonates more deeply with who you truly are. This exploration is an act of profound self-respect and empowerment. Embrace it. The clarity you gain will be invaluable, a steady light as you navigate towards your next meaningful endeavor.