Finding Solace in Support Groups When Feeling Betrayed by a Layoff

The word “betrayal” is a strong one, but for many who have poured their heart and soul into their work in the tech industry only to be abruptly laid off, it’s often exactly how it feels. You might be angry at a system you feel failed you, deeply disappointed in leadership decisions, or overcome with a sadness that comes from losing not just a job, but a community and a sense of purpose. When these feelings are intense, the idea of talking about it with strangers in a support group might seem counterintuitive. Yet, as someone who has witnessed the healing power of shared experience for over three decades, I can assure you: connecting with others who “get it” can be profoundly validating and a crucial step toward processing that sense of betrayal.

“When you feel betrayed by an institution or a system, finding solidarity with others who have walked the same fire can be the first spark of empowerment.”

It’s incredibly isolating to feel like your hard work and loyalty were met with a cold, impersonal decision. Friends and family can offer comfort, but they may not fully grasp the specific nuances of a tech layoff or the particular sense of injustice you might be feeling. A support group, comprised of individuals who are also navigating this specific type of loss, can provide a unique space where your anger, disappointment, and sadness are not only understood but mirrored, reducing the loneliness of your experience.

✅ Actionable Steps for Engaging with Support Groups

Research and identify support groups specifically for laid-off professionals, ideally within the tech sector.
Attend a few meetings as an observer first, to gauge the group’s dynamic and your comfort level.
Listen with an open mind to the stories and feelings of others – you’ll likely hear your own experiences reflected.
When you feel ready, share your own story and feelings of anger, disappointment, or betrayal in a safe, non-judgmental space.
Offer empathy and support to other group members, fostering a sense of community.

How to Put These Steps Into Practice

• Research and Identify Relevant Support Groups

Not all support groups are created equal; find one that resonates with your needs.

Online vs. In-Person: Virtual groups offer accessibility and anonymity if desired. In-person groups can provide a different kind of connection.
Tech-Specific Groups: Look for groups tailored to tech industry professionals, as they will better understand the specific culture, pressures, and nature of layoffs in this sector. Platforms like Meetup, LinkedIn Groups, or even subreddits (e.g., r/layoffs) can be starting points.
Facilitated vs. Peer-Led: Some groups are led by mental health professionals or career coaches, offering more structure. Others are peer-led, providing a more informal space for sharing.
Tip: Ask for recommendations from your network, or even from career counselors or outplacement services if they were offered.

• Attend as an Observer First

There’s no pressure to dive in immediately.

Gauge the Atmosphere: Is it a safe, respectful space? Do people listen to each other? Does the overall tone feel supportive rather than purely a “venting session” (though some venting is normal and healthy)?
Your Comfort is Key: If a particular group doesn’t feel right after a couple of sessions, it’s okay to try another. The goal is to find a place where you feel understood and safe.
Tip: Take notes (for yourself) on what resonates with you or any common themes you observe. This can help you process even before you share.

• Listen With an Open Mind

The power of a support group often lies in realizing you are not alone in your feelings.

Find Common Ground: You may hear someone articulate the exact anger or disappointment you’ve been struggling to put into words. This validation can be incredibly powerful.
Learn from Others’ Coping Strategies: Listen to how others are managing their emotions, what practical steps they’re taking, or what resources they’ve found helpful.
Empathy is Contagious: As you feel empathy for others, you may find it easier to extend that same compassion to yourself.
Tip: Try to listen without judgment, both to others and to your own internal reactions.

Voicing your sense of betrayal, anger, or sadness in a space where it will be understood can be a significant step in healing.

No Need for a Polished Narrative: You don’t have to have it all figured out. Sharing raw, honest feelings is often what support groups are for. “I feel so betrayed by how this was handled,” or “I’m just so angry at the lack of transparency.”
Focus on Your Experience: Use “I” statements to own your feelings (e.g., “I feel…” rather than “They are…”).
It’s Okay to Be Emotional: Tears, frustration, sadness – these are all welcome in a supportive environment.
Tip: You might be surprised by how many people echo your sentiments, which can lessen the feeling that your reaction is unique or “too much.”

• Offer Empathy and Support to Others

A support group is a reciprocal community.

Active Listening: When others share, truly listen. Nod, make eye contact (if appropriate for the format), and show you’re engaged.
Validate Their Feelings: Simple phrases like, “I can really relate to that feeling of disappointment,” or “Thank you for sharing that, it sounds incredibly tough,” can mean a lot.
Avoid Unsolicited Advice (Unless it’s that kind of group): Often, people just need to be heard. If advice is sought or is part of the group’s established dynamic, offer it constructively.
Tip: By supporting others, you reinforce your own sense_of agency and connection, which can be a powerful antidote to feelings of helplessness or betrayal.

💡 Insight: When you feel a deep sense of betrayal from a layoff, it can shatter your trust in institutions and even in your own judgment. A support group acts as a collective mirror, reflecting not your flaws, but the shared human experience of navigating injustice and loss. In that reflection, you can begin to rebuild your sense of self and find the strength to move forward, not by forgetting the betrayal, but by transmuting its power.

The anger, disappointment, and sadness you feel after a layoff, especially one that feels like a betrayal, are heavy burdens. Carrying them alone can prolong the pain and make it harder to see a path forward. Support groups offer a unique sanctuary where these difficult emotions can be aired, understood, and processed collectively. It’s a space where your story is not just heard, but truly felt by others who have similar scars.

This isn’t about dwelling on the past, but about finding a healthy way to acknowledge its impact so you can reclaim your future. In the company of fellow travelers, you might find that the sharp edges of betrayal begin to soften, replaced by a sense of solidarity and a renewed belief in your own resilience.

If you need more resources, consider:

Searching for “layoff support groups” or “career transition groups” on platforms like Meetup, LinkedIn, or Eventbrite.
Asking EAP (Employee Assistance Program) services, if still accessible, for referrals to grief or job loss support groups.
Remembering that many local community centers or mental health organizations also host various types of support groups.

You deserve to be heard and understood. Seek out those spaces.